child abuse · criminal justice · depression · education · human rights · Immigration · Incest · Uncategorized

Abusers that Heal

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I introduced myself to a couple.  I told them I was a Life Coach for victims of Domestic Violence, Abuse, Rape and Incest.  I told them my story, I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and physical abuse. I married an abuser.  Remembering the second time he hit me.  I was getting home the kids and I around 4pm after being out shopping with family.  He was intoxicated, I opened the car door, got out of the car, I was taking my baby out of the car seat, he hit me with his fist, knocked me out cold.  When I opened my eyes,I was laying in the bed with my young children, saying “Momma are you ok” that moment i decided, if I kill this nigga, my kids would go to my parents the people who abused me.  I decided to leave him.  A few months later, I took my young children, got on the greyhound and left.  Took me years to obtain counseling and heal.  The young man, 36 years of age, said “I was one of those people you’re talking about” an abuser.  He said, he beat his wife, because he saw his father beat his mother.  He thought it was how he showed love to her.  He went on and said, he decided to go to counseling he knew it wasnt right.  The aftermath was devastating.  He told how he always stated she caused him to beat her up.  I respected this young man, he went to therapy, he acknowledged it was an him problem.  He dealt with his core issues, he allowed his wife to make a conscious decision if she wanted to return to the marriage.  When she decided to return, they made a commitment to continued counseling.  They now, attend retreats to continue to grow as a couple and continue to build strength.  As victims must face fear in the face, the abusers must also face their demons.  Moving past denial, takes everyone to the first stage of healing.  Survivorship is a long-term process.  I suggest therapy or counseling.  Then a support group, look into Psychologist, doctors that provide more natural healing than pills.  Choose to heal.  You have a choice and resources.  Learned behavior, can be corrected.  The more children we as a society reach out to, the chances of healing those children.  Will save lives to come.

 

Always love

Lateresa 

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