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Todd Aiken I’m not a bastard anymore, My mom’s rape was legitimate


Todd, with great appreciation you have given me, a 48 year old bastard child legitimacy. Thinking about my channel to this earth, my mother was raped by my biological father at the age of 14. In 1963 it dramatized her, changed the way she saw life. When the police were called, due to societies devalue of women, it didn’t matter. She was humiliated, felt ashamed because she was raped and wasn’t aware she was pregnant. Well, no one knew who the father was(she knew), this child was born in the year of CHANGE in this country. Born to an angry mother who didn’t care about the well being of the child, who wanted a child your forced to birth with no choices? Adoption was not an option. The grandmother raised the child like she was her own. Can you imagine being born with no name, no fathers name on your birth certificate, until your mother wed and then you are given a name and a fathers name put on your birth certificate. Providing LOVE, aunts and uncles contributed to the growth of the child. The mother was never around , until she was married. Then being snatched away from the person that protected you, educated you, provided shelter most of all unconditional love. At age 5, I moved into the home with my mother and (step) father. The American family. I then met the Boogey man.
“Put this in your mouth, suck on it like a lollipop , you tell anyone, I’ll kill your mother”. I was five sitting on the stairs playing with my Barbie dolls. I had never seen a penis and not my father’s. My life had changed forever. I never wanted to play with Barbie dolls again, I began cutting the hair off every dolls head I owned. I thought, he called me into the basement because I was playing on the stairs with my Barbie dolls. School was my safe haven, if there was an activity I could participate in, I did.. He beat my mother on a regular basis that was my excuse why she didn’t help me, “she was afraid of him. 10 years old he anally raped me, I never felt pain like that, I bleed . When I stopped bleeding, I went to my room, upstairs, I opened the window and went out on the roof, I could not take anymore. The neighbor across the street saw me and began screaming, she ran to the front door and told them I was on the roof. My mother came upstairs, closed the window and left the room. The older I got the rapings came along with beatings. 14 I birthed a child , my homework was sent home, the tuition to my Catholic school had been paid in full, no questions asked by the school or the hospital. By the time I was 15, I had numerous back alley and legal abortions . The best money could buy of course. He stopped raping me, I thought it was over, until one night I went downstairs and saw my younger sister, I yelled at him, he hit me like a man. The next morning my mother asked me what were you fighting about, I looked at her and said, “you know” she then walked away.
Sex anyway you want it, and we take it from anyone we want to. Suicide, mental illness, depression, low self-esteem, silence. Mr. Aiken the consequence of “legitimate rape.” Oh yeah, I was the families secret, until NOW, no more lies. The consequences of RAPE, how they become generational until someone takes a stand for what’s right. Mental illness, is created and this country has cut mental health facilities for years, the reality we need them more now than ever before. Most of us have had to fight all our lives for one thing or another and some of us will continue to fight for human rights. If your reading this and need help RAINN or United Way can help.
Always Love teresa

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4 thoughts on “Todd Aiken I’m not a bastard anymore, My mom’s rape was legitimate

  1. Thank you for sharing your powerful story, a rebuttal to much of the insanity in this world. Those who do not care if a child is wanted, if they are loved and protected but just want to force women to give birth are ensuring the perpetuation of cycles of abuse. Your voice shows you are more than just legitimate, you are actualized.

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    1. Proudly sensitive,
      An abundance of “thank-you’s”. Yes that was my reality, this is who I have become, FREE. It warms my heart to know so many of us are not silenced anymore. We continue to validate each other, I feel we are a real family to one another, speaking of our past, no matter how painful they were and being truthful with ourselves to continue to be world changers. always love teresa

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    1. Greetings of Love, I apologize for taking so long to respond. Im navigating thru the tools here. My story is also so many others story. I talk about it to help others shed the pain of the past, to reach out for help. Counseling does start the journey of healing and allowing us to become the great people we are created to be. RAINN.org is globally anywhere in the world they have resources. Always love Teresa

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