#3 Reason to why we are guilty We are taught to love yo mom ma , whether she’s a good mom ma or not!

Most of my adult life, I always tried to prove my LOVE to my mother.  Not realizing, until later in life, she would never love me and their was nothing I could do that would be good enough for her.  She was always impressed with having the best of everything, the newest the biggest home, cars, and professing to family and friends that she was a happy person and her family was the perfect family of color on the upward mobility in the 1970’s.    I was taught, success is dictated by your children, obtaining more than you.  The more successful as a person I became, the more she hated me.  and the man I was told was my biological father.  They came to visit and they refused to stay at our home, they told my husband the day we got married to watch out for me, I have mental issues and like to make things up.  I wrote a book got a contract and it was published, she didn’t buy the book, nor did she ever say “I’m proud of you”.  In school never a parent teacher conference, never a hug for doing a great job, out spelling everyone in my elementary school in 3rd grade, nothing.  a woman births children at early ages in life, the thinking is not their.  You see, my mother birthed me at 14.  My grandma and auntie Lucy Mae raised me in the early years, they made sure my foundation was strong, built on real LOVE.  When a child is conceived  the condition and circumstances play an important role.  Pre-natal care, vitamins to make sure the baby and mother are healthy.  The mother is happy on the outside but a lot of them are angry on the inside creating depression.  When the babies are born, first glance is “awesome” cuddly and cute until she realizes her life has changed forever.  She doesn’t connect with the child, she wants to have nothing to do with the baby ( 2nd sign) society says it’s normal. She lacks in the growth of the child. As other children are born, you see a difference in the way the mother treats the children.  When a mother says she hates her life because of a child, take her words for what they are, not what you want them to be.    Women who drop outta school, especially high school have already created a negative love in the child’s life.  My mother blamed me for her choices in life.  I felt maybe this was one of the reasons she never loved me.  When I approached her and told her , her husband had been sexually assaulting me since I was five.  I cried like a baby, she was cold.  I demanded her to hug me, why should I have to demand you to love me, or hug me to feel better about being raped.  She told people I was crazy, I was a liar to make sure no-one would believe my truth.  For many years I believed I was crazy, until I decided to go to counseling, my mind was opened the BEAST of change and goona make a difference was created.  If you think somethings wrong, in a family, you either look a lil deeper but stop turning your back on the kids.  You are your brothers & sisters keepers.  always love

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